its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize