and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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