Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
