Ambien. No doubt about it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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