Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
