covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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