the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
