just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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