Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do vagina's smell?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
