I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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