Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
