my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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