let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
