I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
handjob tips. give me some.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize