not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
