I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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