In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
