it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need help removing her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
