Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
