Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I touched a dick in church today
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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