you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize