Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we're making bets on your personal life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
