I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
