I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize