If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
