5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize