he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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