Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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