We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
