he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
