I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
