and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Of course I have a pirate flag
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
