hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
