White coat. Heels.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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