im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize