He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
