Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
