yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
