??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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