Ambien. No doubt about it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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