oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
