So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize