if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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