I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
