Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
