Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
sarcasm needs its own font
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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