The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
