I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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