i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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