that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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