i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
