can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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