I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
