I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm both gender and math confused
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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