You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
