dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's official drugs can't kill me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
