i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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