Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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