Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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