1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
