she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Every concussion has its silver lining
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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