The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
