What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
