i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The feeling are messing with the penis
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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