Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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