Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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