They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize