somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
