i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
