Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
