WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
