yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
