I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
