he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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