oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
