im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
