What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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