Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
