just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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