Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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