They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
whose parrot is this?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
