idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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